Although not the longest chapter in Matthew, it feels like it to me. There is just so much going on in this chapter. Just read the headings: Jesus Brought Before Pilate, The Suicide of Judas, Pilate Questions Jesus, Barabbas or Jesus, Pilate Hands Jesus Over to be Crucified, The Soldiers Mock Jesus, The Crucifixion of Jesus, The Death of Jesus, The Burial of Jesus, The Guard at the Tomb. It almost feels frenzied to me, the amount of information and story telling going on concerning the last couple of days of Jesus’ life and death is overwhelming. As I’m Bible journaling through this chapter, this heading stopped me hard, “The Suicide of Judas.”
A very dear friend of mine’s son is walking forty miles a day for the next four and a half days to raise awareness about veteran suicide in support of a film he is in, Project 22. Suicide is real and it’s not reserved for some traitor who sold the God Man for thirty pieces of silver. And you know what verse struck me, verse 4b, “What is that to us? See to it yourself.”
A quotes from the movie trailer I just linked to
So often hurting souls think they are alone; such an evil, evil ploy of the enemy! So often they hear something along the lines of what Judas heard, “What is that to us? See to it yourself.” This isn’t said out of lack of concern, it’s said out of ignorance or fear. Again, ignorance and fear, such evil, evil ploys of the enemy! Can you hear me mommas and teens and widows and every living, breathing soul? Because I am looking at you right now and I am telling you…
Do you feel abandoned? scared? frustrated? exhausted? alone? So did Jesus.
There is nothing you can feel that someone else has not felt…maybe even someone in your inner circle.
There is nothing…nothing so difficult that can take your hope away from you and don’t you give it up either.
Suicide is real and scary. I do not like to read about, talk about or think about suicide. As a matter of fact there is not a surer way of making me shut off a movie, trash a book or walk away from the internet than to bring up suicide. It makes my skin crawl, my heart race and my mind try to escape. But worse than all those scary feelings I try my hardest avoid, I would never want someone to feel from me through my words or actions, “See to it yourself.”
Bible Journaling: Matthew 27
P–There are so many souls who are hurt Lord…so many. Please Lord, I pray they never give up hope. I pray they run to You, see help…and rest. This chapter feels frenzied and life feels frenzied and sometimes Lord, people just just jump ship, get off the merry-go-round and check out. I pray rest for their weary souls. I pray rest for their distraught minds. I pray rest for their drained hearts.
O–There is a lot to this chapter and I don’t know that I could add more or stop once I started. This is an emotional chapter and one I think best spent considering it in light of the Stations of the Cross. During the stations, time seems slowed and this story can be taken in properly–through prayer and meditation.
W—vs 4b…”What is that to us? See to it yourself.”
E–So how do I apply this Scripture and these meditations to my life? I think just being aware Lord. People are fighting some hard interior battles that I am not even aware of; charity, charity, charity. And to assume the best and forgive the worst.
R–Lord, help me to be kind and patient with all I meet because I don’t know their interior battles. Help me to be kind and patient with myself; I do know my interior battles. I pray Lord for a spirit of hope for myself and in abundance so I can share it with others.
Please share your POWERful reflections in the comments.