I took on a 31 Days Writing Challenge to get back into blogging, again. I’ve been blogging quietly and communal, off and on for the past 10 years. I get anxious or overwhelmed with putting myself out there and then quickly close up shop. But I always come back…always. Blogging serves a creative good for me, confirmed over and over again by my husband and my spiritual father. So this morning, I said a prayer for strength. I know what I am supposed to be doing. I know why and I’m learning how. Now I need the strength.
These past few months have been trying. There is the usual complexities involved in raising a large family–finances, relationships, clean clothing and soccer schedules times five, piano and Girls Leadership. All blessings indeed, but sometimes, they are just the collective one more thing.
There was the respiratory virus that bored a huge hole in our lives, disrupting everything from outside activities, to simple household chores and home learning for nine weeks. And the respiratory virus chose to make it’s debut two days after my husband left for almost four months of out of state work…his work never travels, why then?
There has always been my creative passion, blogging, to either distract and or make sense of it all. I think out loud either verbally or through blogging. And even blogging took a hit this year. I changed the name of my blog the beginning of the year to a more user friendly name. And just shy of a couple months into the new name, for possible legal reasons, I had to change the name again. Not good for momentum and continuity and not good from a business perspective.
I have felt discouraged, rubbed raw and worn smooth–or almost smooth–at times. I have stepped back and completely away from blogging only to return, drawn to this creative outlet and compelled to share my words, my stories, and even the little details in my weekly Daybook, like what song I’m listening to as of late because I know you are there just like I’m on the other end of someone else’s thoughts and words. I have recently shifted my focus or rather clarified my intention. Blogging for me is not just a creative outlet, I know it to be my humble witness of the love and mercy of God and His workings in my life; so dare I call it a ministry?
Back to my prayer for strength Sunday morning. I didn’t sit down with the intention to pray for strength. I sat down and read from Divine Intimacy and the section I read was all about the life of the apostolate. An in my reading, I felt compelled to write and the result was this prayer…
Prayer for Strength
Lord, I know you have placed a call on my heart to share You–Your truths revealed in the scriptures–to worn and weary women struggling with anxiety, worry and doubt. Please show me and use me to reach their hearts and minds and show them there is power in positive thinking, positive affirmations and daily affirmations. Keep me from being more internet noise but a woman of conversion–always renewing my heart and mind to grow in closer friendship with You. And a woman of conviction–able to share Your truths through my life stories and ponderings which I share on The Littlest Way for the encouragement of others.
I have mentioned and will occasionally mention the struggles I have had with my thinking. Those struggles are a part of my story which make me who I am–Hi There! And those struggles were hard, scary, and lonely. I don’t have to go into the details and only mention them for context. Neither one of us need the details or reminders, they would only serve as a superficial distraction and bring out the base voyeur that lurks in all of us. I don’t like to go there, much less linger in the past. My goal is to focus on the present.
And that brings me to the purpose of The Littlest Way…to focus on the love and mercy of a gracious Father who blesses us with the gift of the present moment and grants us hope for the things to come.
Each day there is more encouragement and even some laughs over on my Facebook page. Head over and “Like” me there for more.