A few years ago, I was drowning in depression, fear, anxiety…I was scared of my own shadow let alone real life. It was during that time the Lord led me to a Christian counselor that taught me to see the Bible as a weapon in this battle I was up against. He taught me I could not live by bread alone. And it was during that time I realized, at the most, I had only been snacking on real, substantial nourishment found in the scriptures.
“A couple of years ago I realized I needed a mind overhaul. I was negative, scared and stuck in the habit of wrong thinking. I turned to my Bible…the dusty, unused, sat-on-a-bookshelf-like-a-wallflower-at-a-junior-high-school-dance…and started reading it. And God started gently speaking to me through His inspired Word.
God started teaching me, through His Word, how to think, behave when discouraged and use my words the way He intended. And it changed me’ well, changed sounds so definitive. Let’s say, “It is changing me.”
–The Catholic Child’s Teaching Bible
Just a couple years before those words were written, I needed the Word of God in my life like I had never needed anything before. It would not be an exaggeration to tell you picking up my Bible was my last resort. My last resort in the sense that I never read my Bible and in the sense that I was at the end of my rope with myself. I was mentally sick and tired and physically sick of being mentally sick and tired.
I don’t know why I thought I could live on bread alone.
I am in a season now, where although not scared and running for cover, I am scattered mentally, tired emotionally and spent physically. Feeling scattered, pulled and pressed on all sides should send me straight to the Word for comfort and nourishment. And I have read my Bible for spiritual and physical nourishment…or should I say I’ve nibbled from the Word. I’ve picked it up and read here and there and ended up fooling myself into thinking I’m nourishing myself. Actually I keep coming up malnourished and wondering what in the world is the problem. Why is God not working?
The problem isn’t with God, surprise–surprise, it’s with me. A little scripture reading here and there can no more fill me up than grabbing a slice of bread and calling it a meal.
Traditionally I would have read that verse from Matthew and gotten a more formal version about living by the Word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God. But I’m not in a season of “proceedeth” and “Thou” or “Thee.” I’m in a season of need.
See God’s perfect timing? He knows I’m in a season where I need to be intentional about what I think about and need to be intentional about spending good, quality time in His Word. He also knows I need to share His encouraging revelations to me with others; it’s just a part of how I process.
I know I’m flip floppy on blogging lately…start a blog–close a blog–rename a blog–go quiet. I have realized recently, I love blogging. As an introvert, blogging suits me; I love the interaction, the sense of community and the commitment to growing in closer in friendship with Christ alongside my sisters in Christ.
I’m going to take a wild guess you need His presence as much as I do. Coming together with each other here on the world wide web to read, study and meditate on His Word, will bring us into the presence of God. We will learn of Him as we learn alongside each other. We will find His Word to be a source of encouragement as we work to encourage each other.
My short break from a more communal blogging has led me to different blogs to read and ponder the scriptures in community. I’ve realized, it doesn’t have to be perfect or even pretty. I don’t need “St.” before my name or who knows what sort of letter combination after my name to encourage and share God’s Word with others. I need a deep desire to love Him more fully, spend time with Him more intentionally and intimately, and a love for sharing His good news with others. Check–check–and check.